In a deep-fried world of Twinkies, turkey legs, funnel cakes and chocolate, I started with bread.
Well, kind of.
My stomach was rumbling, sending out “feed me” messages, as I arrived at the Ventura County Fair on Thursday. I was ready to oblige. It was time to eat my way through the fairgrounds.
Congressman Salud Carbajal, who grew up in Oxnard, polished off a corndog, nachos and a deep-fried Twinkie in a visit to the fair on Wednesday. I saw him working on the dog and figured the mustard-stained gauntlet had been flung. It was my turn.
The plan was to craft a seven-course meal of fair food. I started with bread.
French toast sticks, $12-$25, Olde Tyme Ice Cream, Main Street
Alyssa Atkins, the booth’s manager, said the sticks were developed by her brother, Dylan, who was inspired by a childhood filled with blueberry French toast sticks from Jack in the Box. She remembered the first batch he made.
“I wanted to have 15 of them,” she said.
They’re deep-fried, covered in cinnamon sugar and shaped into logs. My order brought eight sticks, enough to share with Atkins and cashier Natalia Sorio of Oxnard. We tapped our breads together in a toast, dipped in syrup and ate.
The sticks carried a slight crunch on the outside with soft, airy bread on the inside. The cinnamon and syrup added a zip. In a fair filled with overpowering food, the sticks were a nice starter. I liked them.
Next up was the soup course. We found it at the food booth shaped like a Chinese takeout food container.
Chow mein soup, $19, Chinese food booth, Seabreeze Plaza
The booth is new to the fair and came from Stockton. Owner Moline Thann said menu items like broccoli beef and egg rolls on a stick represent a growing trend of bringing different types of food to fairs.
The chow mein came in in a takeout bowl, the beef broth teeming in a thick soup of beef, noodles, cabbage and carrots.
I started with a fork, then dug in with chopsticks, sucking in the noodles like a vacuum cleaner. The food was salty and good, conjuring up memories of the udon noodles served up at the fair years ago by the Oxnard Buddhist Temple.
Juan Carlo wanted a vegetable course. The longtime photographer was stuck taking pictures of me all day. He’s a vegetarian with a soft spot for onion rings and fries. So we hunted down a mass of curly fries formed into a half-brick.
Curly fries, $10-$16, bacon-wrapped hotdogs booth, Seabreeze Plaza
The servers told us the fries are all about the special, secret seasoning. They wouldn’t cough up anything else. Whatever they used, it worked. The fries were crispy and perfect.
We were also given two green jalapeños fresh off the grill. Carlo told me they would be sweet, not hot. He lied.
We ate with Jennifer Ibarra and her 6-year-old son, Ian, who sported a Super Mario T-shirt. I told them I write a story every year about eating everything I can at the fair. Ian's eyes grew wide.
“I want to do that when I grow up,” he yelled, hopping in excitement as he conjured up his dream menu. “An Icee and then curly fries and then popcorn and after that I would have hot dogs.”
Hesitant to offer any more career advice except maybe a suggestion for antacids, I moved on.
Walking up Main Street, I met Mary Novak. The Ventura woman held two corndogs in one hand, noting with a sheepish smile that one was for her granddaughter. She and the kids were getting started on a day that was likely to include funnel cake, spiral fries, crepes and chicken prepared fair-style.
Hand-tossed wings, $13-$35, The Wing Shack, Main Street
The Wing Shack is new to the fair this year and is attached to the Papa Gino’s pizza booth. Novak went for the 20-piece family basket to feed her grandkids. I settled for the 6-piece serving for $13.
A booth worker said the most important decision is the sauce. He told me to pick Buffalo. I did and was glad. The chicken was tender and moist, drenched in a sea that tasted of tabasco.
I gobbled down the wings and happily scribbled down my thoughts, leaving an orange stain in my notebook.
“Hot,” I wrote, “but not scorching.”
We moved on to the fair’s main food court. It's dressed up with signs that promise deep-fried Oreos, huge turkey legs and piña coladas. One of the fair officials told me I would be missing out if I didn’t try a street taco.
Asada taco, Alicia's Mexican Kitchen, $6
It was my least-expensive dish of the day. Made of flank steak dressed in cilantro and onions, it was tasty. It was also small, about the size of the bottom of a coffee mug. I could have eaten three.
I was still hungry. So I searched for my cheese course.
Cheese curds, $12, Eat at Joe's, Main Street
The curds are made of white Wisconsin cheddar that is breaded and deep-fried. I told booth worker Virginia Cervantes I’m a Cheesehead, born and raised in the dairy state. She smiled.
“Wis-caan-sin,” she said, gently mimicking my Midwest accent, pronouncing the vowels flatter than the counter where she stood. She told me the curds are one of her favorites and said the booth's repertoire also includes cheese curds dipped in chocolate and funnel cake batter, though that delicacy wasn't brought to the Ventura County Fair.
I didn't want chocolate. I wanted a curd that would make me think of home and the Green Bay Packers. I wanted cheese. The curds were crispy and golden on the outside but creamy on the inside. My one complaint is they were too chewy.
I was ready for dessert. I knew where to go, having spotted a sign in a scouting mission earlier. “Chocolate chip cookie meets cinnamon roll,” it said. I had to have it.
Chocolate chip cookie roll, $11, Old West Cinnamon Rolls, Kelley Court, near the ag building
The roll was topped with warm cookie dough and a scoop of vanilla ice cream. A cherry sat on its summit. Sitting in a takeout container, it was a work of art.
The booth worker shut the lid before she gave it to me. The ice cream smashed into the roll. The cherry plummeted from its peak.
It still tasted good. The ice cream and chocolate elevated the cinnamon goodness to new sugary heights. But it looked, well, like I made it.
The roll was my seventh course. My dinner was complete. My insides felt a little wobbly. But as I walked up Main Street, I started thinking about what I didn't eat — the Mexican street corn, crepes, Hawaiian sausage, deep-fried Twinkies and so much more.
I guess it means there will be a sequel. Again.
Tom Kisken covers health care and other news for the Ventura County Star.Reach him at tom.kisken@vcstar.com.
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